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Mike Bow-Wow-SkiMike Bow-Wow-Ski here: Spring is gone already and you may have noticed that your two legged creatures are getting out of the desert as fast as their two little legs will carry them. Some will take you (Yeah, I love to travel!) and others will leave you home (I hate getting left at home!). Here are a few tactics you can use to make them rethink leaving without you. This list is by no means comprehensive but it may give paws, to help you be more creative at encouraging the two-legged creatures to take you with them:
  1. There is the traditional: pull as many plants out of the ground as possible. If they are too well rooted, you might try it after the automatic sprinklers go off.
  2. If you chose to wait on the sprinklers, don't worry about tracking anything into the house because they will clean it up. It might help to bring a few plants inside with you.
  3. After they return, pee and poop on the floor and choose a rug or carpet as it takes more to clean those. You get more mileage if you wait until they come home.
  4. Give them the cold shoulder and ignore them. They can't stand to be ignored because they are very self-centered by nature.
  5. Take a couple of shoes from the closet, don't worry if they do not match, that is even better, and bury them in the back yard.
  6. Run around like crazy when they come home and pee on their feet. They think you are happy to see them and can't control yourself.; Again, it is all about them.
  7. Use a chair to get up on the kitchen table or kitchen counters and see what things you can find. They might have candy or sugar up there to enjoy.
  8. If you can bring a dead animal into the house, this will garner a lot of attention.
  9. Don't try eating one of those electric cords. I did this and got knocked on my tail literally and now when it rains I get this strange twitch.
  10. And whatever you do, DO NOT smile at them. This just reconfirms they made the right decision to not take you with them.
This is just a few suggestions I had but feel free to email me what other things dogs do to punish their two legged creatures.Send to MikeBowowski@wearingtoomanyhats.com

Check out more of my musings here.
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